Wedding advice

[xman]

I know grooms want to keep the peace but, my goodness, since when did the wedding day become the day when only the bride makes important choices?

Since brides I think.

remember, IT IS YOUR DAY TOO!!!! Not just hers.

Yeah, that's not true.

I have always found Mr. Gibbs' advice to his son before his wedding in Thornton Wilder's Our Town to be poignant;

"It's the womenfolk who've built up weddings, my boy. For a while now the women have it all their own way. A man looks pretty small at a wedding, George. All those good women standing shoulder to shoulder making sure that the knot's tied in a mighty public way."

Metrobirl, I would simply explain that there will be several colours in the kilt and that they must match well with each other first and foremost, but that the overall effect will be a complimentary one.

[Meggers]

Since brides I think.


Yeah, that's not true.

I have always found Mr. Gibbs' advice to his son before his wedding in Thornton Wilder's Our Town to be poignant;

"It's the womenfolk who've built up weddings, my boy. For a while now the women have it all their own way. A man looks pretty small at a wedding, George. All those good women standing shoulder to shoulder making sure that the knot's tied in a mighty public way."

Metrobirl, I would simply explain that there will be several colours in the kilt and that they must match well with each other first and foremost, but that the overall effect will be a complimentary one.

well not THIS bride!

Id be upset if my husband didnt help with the planning and put in his two cents on things. Especially since I hate planning parties. Id be happy to just let our families plan it and I will tell them what little things I know I want in it

I guess I never cared about wedding day stuff. I dont know why some women become so rabid about wedding day planning and they have their "perfect wedding" planned out. I only know that I want a few thistles hidden in my wedding bouquet, that I want my husband to wear his traditional clothing, and...thats it. lol. Easy peazy. Everyone else can come up with the other stuff and just run it by us.

[Zardoz]

Assert yourself as far as dressing for your wedding, or be ready to never be allowed an opinion again in your marriage.

Here's a bit of what the Black Tie Guide has to say about matching the bridesmaids;

"remember that your clothing reflects who you are as a man and carefully consider the implications of allowing your fiancée to base your outfit on the color of the bridesmaids' dresses. At best you will be on par with a little girl's dressed-up puppy and at worst you will be reduced to the status of a matching handbag. She may resent your independence in the short term but in the long run your marriage will benefit from your refusal to begin it as a sartorial eunuch."

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Weddings.htm

Good Luck!

[Meggers]

^ agreed

time for the grooms to have a little say in the wedding plans

[xman]

I hate planning parties. Id be happy to just let our families plan it and I will tell them what little things I know I want in it

In my somewhat extensive experience with weddings, this is where MoB (Mother of the Bride) steps in. It's either one or the other nine times out of ten. But you are a rare bird Meghan as is my own wife. As long as you and your partner agree on the important stuff in life, it really doesn't matter what 'most people' do.

[Meggers]

In my somewhat extensive experience with weddings, this is where MoB (Mother of the Bride) steps in. It's either one or the other nine times out of ten. But you are a rare bird Meghan as is my own wife. As long as you and your partner agree on the important stuff in life, it really doesn't matter what 'most people' do.

Thanks for the compliment. Means a lot.

I guess it just comes from me having to have been the sacrificer in a lot of stuff in the past and now im sick of always having to sacrifice. Compromise all the way. Since ive had a taste of how it feels to always have your own ideas stomped on, I dont want to ever do that to my fella.

[Father Bill]

You know, in a marriage, it really isn't 50 / 50 compromise. In practice it tends to be more like 90 / 90. That's when it's really sweet! 43 years together, 39 married, and still counting!

[piperdbh]

well not THIS bride!

...I hate planning parties. Id be happy to just let our families plan it and I will tell them what little things I know I want in it ...Everyone else can come up with the other stuff and just run it by us.

The Mrs. and I make wedding/party cakes as a little side-hobby. (Notice I didn't say side-business. ) One of her friends (notice I said her friends) got married September a year ago and hadn't thought through much of any of the wedding plans, other than place, day and time. The minister's wife, one of her good buddies and Yours Truly got to put the reception together, including planning the menu, figuring out how to serve it, and setting up/taking down tables and chairs, all in the South Carolina September heat. Please, Meghan, make at least a few decisions before the big day. And take pictures to your baker. She'll appreciate it.

[Meggers]

You know, in a marriage, it really isn't 50 / 50 compromise. In practice it tends to be more like 90 / 90. That's when it's really sweet! 43 years together, 39 married, and still counting!

Thats exactly what my dad told me when I was young Almost word for word. He told me that a marriage isnt when both people give half, it's when both people give 100%

The Mrs. and I make wedding/party cakes as a little side-hobby. (Notice I didn't say side-business. ) One of her friends (notice I said her friends) got married September a year ago and hadn't thought through much of any of the wedding plans, other than place, day and time. The minister's wife, one of her good buddies and Yours Truly got to put the reception together, including planning the menu, figuring out how to serve it, and setting up/taking down tables and chairs, all in the South Carolina September heat. Please, Meghan, make at least a few decisions before the big day. And take pictures to your baker. She'll appreciate it.

lol of course I wouldnt push the burden on my wedding day on others. I guess I just mean that I want it to be simple and not such a stressful planning process. There are a few things that I have my heart set on but those are mostly things that only apply to ME (like my bouquet having thistles hiding in it) but everything else I really do want my husbands input on. I want to ask him what HE invisions also and try to make that work with my plans.

Im 100 years away from that day anyway so perhaps when its time to plan, my "bride-ness" will kick in, but as for today, I have almost no heart-set plans set in stone.

[Father Bill]

I like your Dad!

Probably the weddings I see going most wrong are the ones that have the most stuff happening. Some (although certainly not all!) of the most loving, moving, and happiest weddings in which I've been involved have been fairly small and fairly simple.

Now... I've also been known to tease young couples by saying to the groom (with a huge grin and a larger wink) that the day is about pleasing "her" and her mother. Keep your mouth shut, and at the end of the day you get to take her home and keep her. The response has always been a big laugh and a relaxation of personal preferences on both sides. Of course... it all depends on the way you say it too!

Thats exactly what my dad told me when I was young Almost word for word. He told me that a marriage isnt when both people give half, it's when both people give 100%



lol of course I wouldnt push the burden on my wedding day on others. I guess I just mean that I want it to be simple and not such a stressful planning process. There are a few things that I have my heart set on but those are mostly things that only apply to ME (like my bouquet having thistles hiding in it) but everything else I really do want my husbands input on. I want to ask him what HE invisions also and try to make that work with my plans.

Im 100 years away from that day anyway so perhaps when its time to plan, my "bride-ness" will kick in, but as for today, I have almost no heart-set plans set in stone.