Wedding advice

[Meggers]

I like your Dad!

Probably the weddings I see going most wrong are the ones that have the most stuff happening. Some (although certainly not all!) of the most loving, moving, and happiest weddings in which I've been involved have been fairly small and fairly simple.

Now... I've also been known to tease young couples by saying to the groom (with a huge grin and a larger wink) that the day is about pleasing "her" and her mother. Keep your mouth shut, and at the end of the day you get to take her home and keep her. The response has always been a big laugh and a relaxation of personal preferences on both sides. Of course... it all depends on the way you say it too!

Hahaha I dont think my mother wants anything to do with planning my wedding. Ive always been a bit of an ecclectic sort and she doesnt even know where to begin if I were to ask her to plan my wedding. All her hopes for a normal traditional wedding are in my sister

[piperdbh]

Hahaha I dont think my mother wants anything to do with planning my wedding. Ive always been a bit of an ecclectic sort and she doesnt even know where to begin if I were to ask her to plan my wedding. All her hopes for a normal traditional wedding are in my sister

I know what let's do:


Let us plan your wedding for you, right here on the Forum. You know it will be done right and the whole world will be talking about it for years afterward!

[Father Bill]

*snip* Let us plan your wedding for you, right here on the Forum.

Sure, she'll end up wearing a flat cap and white hose

[piperdbh]

Sure, she'll end up wearing a flat cap and white hose

Aren't brides supposed to wear white?

[Meggers]

I know what let's do:


Let us plan your wedding for you, right here on the Forum. You know it will be done right and the whole world will be talking about it for years afterward!

You know, I'd actually have way too much fun with that! Have at it, lads.

Just be nice to me

My best friend had a group of men plan her wedding and they did a really good job. She was a goalie in hockey so they put her and her husband in the team jerseys, had them take vows on the ice and then with velcrow, they had her maiden name ripped off and underneith was her married name.

She said it was pretty boy-ish but it was creative! And they all got an A+ on food planning. I guess when you leave wedding planning up to men, the food part would be the best. (unless you are Joey Tribiani with his "peanut butter fingers")

[Teufel Hunden]

<snip>
I will be designing my own tartan. I will not be asking my groomsmen to wear kilts.
The only problem is that my wife would like the main color of my kilt to match her bridesmaids colors.
I find this a little perplexing as I don't think the groom should be matching the bridesmaids colors in any other wedding setting. I can't find any photos of wedding parties where this is done. Is it acceptable or is it reducing the kilt to a 'dress' item? Or am I over thinking this?
-c

Some women these days go crazy over matching all the colors at their weddings. It can be quite an experience to witness...

My wife and I did it the other way around though... we matched the trim on the bridesmaids dresses to the base color of the groomsmen's kilts. So one girl had yellow, another had navy blue, and my flower girl had green to match me. It worked out because it added a lot of color, and it looked fantastic.

Making a whole kilt (which can be quite an expensive endeavor) to match the color on the bridesmaids seems a bit backwards to me... especially since the bridesmaids will likely not use those dresses again, where a kilt you can wear every single day if you wanted to. But if it's a good color to work with, it might not be a problem. What color are you expected to match, and how does it fit in to the tartan you were going to create?

[CelticSire]

Why is the bride wanting the groom to match the bridesmaids? He's not marrying the bridesmaids, he's marrying the bride. The groomsmen should match the bridesmaids, not the groom.

[fingertrouble]

Having had to plan what my partner and I wore for my dad's wedding, and putting on my artist hat (As Someone Formerly Known As An Artist, By Qualification rather than trade...sorta)....I would say this:

Complimentary, not matching, don't make everyone look the same but have the same base colours. I'd go off the tartan rather than the other way around, but say like broadly purples/reds or blue/greens - or yellow/orange depending on your tartan. This is why I agree an existing tartan might be best unless you have a colour combo in mind that works well already .

Shades of rather than full on, although pastels can be bland, you can use accents as others have said in flashes or sashes or ties. Small bits of strong colour works well too with white or complimentary light colours.

And yeah - if anyone wants to match it would as said above the groom and bride should sort of match/compliment closely...but not so directly the others...because you two are getting married, not the rest!

Thing is if you match too closely it just looks odd, like some uniform or you hired it all from the same shop. Give everyone their own identity, within those broad colour wheel (secondaries or primaries), different ties/colours/accessories/dresses etc. Less is more though, apart from you two.

But don't be afraid of some contrast, cos really at a wedding why should everyone look exactly the same? That would be odd.

[KiltedSergeant]

Well, unless I missed it, the OP has not been heard from again since his original post, so my guess is that he and the fiancee had it out over the color of his kilt, and the marriage has now been cancelled!

OK, let's hope not! Maybe he will pipe in again on his latest thoughts on the matter. In the meantime, I would like to opine on this, as my son had his kilted wedding in July, and the bride matched her colors to his Ancient Douglas. That is by far (as many of you have pointed out) the easiest way to do this. Matching the kilt to the bride's colors, could be nearly impossible depending on the colors involved. Allow me to explain.

The OP has not precisely explained what he means by "match the bridesmaids' colors." Does he mean a color that will "go well" with the bridesmaid's colors (in which case it would probably be easy to find an existing tartan, or possibly even design a tartan to match reasonably well), or does he mean "match precisely"? Matching newly woven tartan colors precisely to a predetermined shade (i.e., the bridesmaid's colors) is very difficult, if not impossible.

I know from having been involved in the ordering of custom tartans, that the colors you get in the final product are often somewhat different from what you imagined they'd be. First, the weaver will use a thread they already possess that is close to what was ordered, rather than special order a thread just for your purposes, unless they have nothing that is suitably close. Second, even If the weaver DOES order thread just for you, the dying process is still an art and not a science, so there is no guarantee that the exact shade will be matched. Two different batches of thread that are dyed to the "same" color are often different to the eye. I have recently received two different weaves of the same tartan from the same weaver, and though both are beautiful, they are slightly though noticeably different.

The only way the OP might get "close" to a "perfect" match would be to submit a sample of the bridesmaids' color to the woolen dyer, who would then dye as close as possible to match, then provide the thread to the weaver. This sounds easy, but would in fact be costly, and I would predict take up to a year just to procure the cloth, let alone have the kilt made.

Even trying to design new tartan to a color that is simpatico with the bridesmaids' color can offer similar issues. Imagine the lovely, light, mint green gowns, and the newly arrived wedding kilt is a lovely, light, olivish-mint green! I firmly believe a color mismatch like this is more rather than less likely.

OP, if you are still out there, take the other posters' advice; match the bridemaids' colors to kilt/tartan that is already similar to what the bride likes.

Or, rent a tux....