Need to know how polite you are to people who are....curious

[thescot]

Hmm. This comes along every once in a while, and I am usually looking for more clever retorts. I also have a treasuer trove of canned answers.

Like others, the person asking and the way he or she asks is my cue. Females get saucy answers (because they're usually being cute and flirty and harmless) unless they're just genuinely interested. I offer to allow warm hands to check, or perhaps a "show me yours, and I'll show you mine" if it's not everly rude. If it's rude, I ask what they'd think of me asking about their underwear in a very serious tone. But mostly, girls (even "girls" my age) are just kin of joking in good fun, and there's no harm in joking back and forth.

Most girls really like a kilt, and I really like most girls!

Guys get short shrift. At the last parade, a kid was showing off for his friends, and I simply said something like, "Don't act like that in public. It makes you look stupid to your friends." They laughed him down.

To an older guy who should know better, I usually respond to The Question with something like "your wife's lipstick" or "everything you've always wanted." Or even, "I'm not into guys. Look elsewhere." If it's one of my friends, I offer a $1000 bet that we can go into any bar, and I'll get more girls than him. They never take me up on it. I'd win.

Sometimes, I just give a "Don't-ask-stupid-questions-look" and it usually ends it. I have that practiced, school teacher look that makes most folks want to dringe and crawl under a desk in humiliation for doing something dumb. Learned it from Miss Bridger in 10th grade geometry! Ha

Mosltly, I encounter folks who like to see a man kilted and who only have very positive comments. Being friendly, and ALWAYS SMILING no matter what is key, I think.