Forgive me the long post, I found that it was helpful to get my thoughts out in generally on the matter. And though afterwards I realized it was a bit lengthy, I decided to include the whole post to expose the through process.

The background:
My father took me to highland games all throughout my childhood growing up in California. I also remember among his books were copies of Skene, McIan and MacLeay, so these were my introductions to Scottish history and culture. He never wore the kilt himself, but I believe that had more do his relationship with his family than any reluctance to embrace his Scottish ancestry.
When I went to college and studied history he was both disappointed (knowing what academics make) and proud of what I had achieved. I did my undergraduate work on Scottish history, specifically the image of the Highlander throughout Scottish history. During this time, he wanted to trace our ancestry and discover if some of the family stories were true as most of them turned out to be. He began to embrace his heritage more. When we were looking at kilts one time we discovered that you could have a tartan of your own made and registered and we often talked about doing so.

Why the long story? About five years ago my father passed away from colon cancer. We never got to design our own tartan. He never got to meet my finacée. Thus for the wedding I want to honor him, I am in the process of having a memorial tartan designed and registered and a kilt made in that tartan.

The knowns:
The wedding will be at 6:30 PM on 11/22/16. It is a church wedding and our pastor friend will be presiding over the ceremony.

The Bride had not decided on a dress, but it is unlikely she is going to go in for a flowing gown or anything on the white tie side of things. She will likely incorporate the tartan in her dress in some way.

There will be a maid of honor, but no other bride’s maids.

My best man (and only groomsmen) will be my finacée’s 12-year-old son. He will be in attire either similar or identical to mine (wearing the same tartan).

There will be 120-200 guests, many of them traveling from some distance. Their attire is likely to range from three pieces suits to potential a few kilt wearers. Somewhere between black tie and cocktail dress codes.

Because guests are traveling I would like to avoid adding additional costs to their lives by demanding a specific wardrobe.

There will be a small dinner for close family and friends after the ceremony, but the main reception will be two days later on Thanksgiving, so we can celebrate that event as a family for the first time.

Attired Ideas:
Now part of the reason I mentioned my first glimpses of highland dress being from McIan and MacLeay is because I have long loved the look of these images.

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I fully recognize that this look is may be romantic depiction at best. I think it was from my childhood spent flipping through these books that I fell in love with these images.
I own a Prince Charlie, but I’m not thrilled with the look, maybe I’m jaded by kilt hire industry in that regard. I also think it is too formal for the wedding I have described.
I know the Sheriffmuir is considered white tie, maybe black on occasion, but I have seen a member here who has a tweed version that I think might be dress down the look. What do others think about the tweed Sheriffmuir? The other option I was thinking of was a dark tweed Argyll.

Thoughts on the plaids? I kind of like the looks of the plaids seen in these pictures, I’m guessing they are essentially similar to piper plaids, I’ve heard them called Laird’s plaids too I believe. Are these too formal? I know today fly plaids seem to be the thing for formal weddings, but I don’t think I’ve worn a fly plaid since my high school prom and I have no real interest.
I think I will skip the dirk and the sgian dubh, as it is a church wedding and I’m not all that enamored with either. Needless to say no claymores either. I don’t think I would wear a horse hair sporran with either of these looks either.

I’m a bit confused on belt etiquette it would seem the wearing of a belt with a waist coat is not the thing to do, but I see it from time to time, so I’m not sure on this point.

Thoughts and advice are welcome.