A dilemma

[LitTrog]

Yeah, just check with the bride. And if her answer is noncommittal, I would caution against wearing the kilt. An enthusiastic yes is what you're looking for, unless you're looking for trouble. Let the caterer or cake maker or DJ or florist or officiant or mother in-law or groom be the one to push her over the edge on her special and horribly stressful day.

[Woodsman]

I too agree that you should ask the bride and by that too she will be forewarned and not surprised on her wedding day.

With that being said, at my wedding, many moons ago, one of our guests was a Marine and wore his full dress uniform to the wedding. He certainly had a choice in this too. But as it turned out, he was a great hit that only added to our wedding and did't subtract from the bride, my wife, at all. We actually looked at it as an honor to have him in attendance dressed as he was. I think it really impressed all the guests. In later years he married my wife's cousin and they are still happily married and now with two children.

[Dale Seago]

Chiming in with others saying definitely, DEFINITELY check with the wedding couple.

I went kilted to a wedding a few weeks go, having done exactly that. The couple are both martial art students of mine and have seen me kilted a gazillion times over the last few years, but I still made a point of checking.

I also made a point of not being ostentatious in my attire, though. The event was on the bride's parents' ranch in California on a very warm day and expected attire was casual, with most the the male guests wearing open-neck shirts and slacks. I wore what I felt would be a kilted analogue to that, and it went over just fine:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?p...&id=1199617140

[nagod]

IF the bride is ok with it,then decide if your kilt is at the same level of formality as the other guests will be dressed(basic sportkilt doesnt fit in with suit and tie crowd).

[Silent Raven]

I will be wearing a kilt to a friends wedding this coming august, as well as a good friend of mine may be wearing one as well if he has one by then (he is also performing the ceremony) but may or may not wear it at that time. but definitely for the reception. but we are both wearing kilts of 'non attention grabbing colors' for lack of better words. ill be wearing my nightstalker and he in a black watch. partially so as to not steal to much attention from the bride and groom (which is nearly impossible, except for the Ronald McDonald costume.

so i figure as long as its not a kilt of major vibrancy (ie loud macleod, pink death, or a Hawaiian pattern) i think you would be okay.

but to reiterate a quick check with the lady of honor might be a wise option.

[Dulcius ex Asperis]

A hearty thanks to all for your thoughts and experiences.

It confirms what I suspected. Now I can't imagine a bride and groom being outdone by anyone (except maybe Ronald MacDonald! LOL) but somehow that doesn't relieve me of the obligation of being a worthy guest. My son is 5 and is really looking forward to wearing his kilt when it comes, but that doesn't have to be at this wedding. I may yet ask the bride (who is, I agree, the authority) but I think I have pretty much tipped toward blending in in a suit.

I'll update with the final result after the wedding for anyone who might wish to find out how the story ends. And I may yet post a picture of what I would have worn had I gone kilted. That kind of inverts the rule about pictures being the proof of events really happening. In my case my picture will be proof that the event didn't happen [in a kilt]?!

Again, thank you everyone!

[Kilted Rogue]

I have a co-worker how is getting married on 11.11.11. She is aware that i wear my kilt often. I asked her if she minded and i added my concerns as well. She was all for it. Only asked that i not go regimental, due to others filling her head with images of a dancing kilted man and a sudden gust of wind. Rubbish i know but i think i can respect her wishes

[Zardoz]

Why worry about wearing your best to a friend's wedding? If I am not a member of the wedding party proper, as a guest I will dress appropriately for the time and venue. This 'appropriate' dress will currently include a kilt. This was true before I started wearing kilts all the time as well.

I have never felt the need to ask the bride, (who has enough to worry about) or the bride's family, (technically the hosts) or take polls to get permission to dress in my usual manner. Do you think the wildly inapproprately dressed folks who always seem to show up at these events asked if it was OK to wear their tube-tops, shorts and crocs?

Look at my friend Barbara here;



See how happy and pretty she is on her wedding day? How in the hell is the bald fat boy in the kilt going to "upstage" her?

[tripleblessed]

As is frequently the case, Zardoz cuts to the crux of the matter quite succinctly. I would suggest asking now only because parents AND wife is an obstacle. You have heard above, though, that many brides welcome the festive addition. Not asking and also just not wearing may lead to later being asked by the bride, "Why didn't you? It would have been great."

[Nighthawk]

OK, you asked for experiences. I recently attended a wedding- last weekend, as a matter of fact- where I was the only one kilted. I wore an understated tartan (Albanach from USA Kilts in particular), a black waistcoat, red tie, white shirt, navy blue hose, and nice shoes. I was the only one kilted. I got a bit of positive feedback, and one person asked me why I wore it, to which I responded truthfully that all of my 2 pairs of pants are ratty cargo jeans, and I didn't feel those as appropriate. It was obviously a satisfactory answer as the inquirer said that I looked great and made a good choice. Other than two or three offhand "You look fantastic!" kinds of comments, it was a total non-event/non-issue. The mother of the groom, whom I had never met before, loved it. Otherwise no one seemed at all interested. It was the couple's special night, and it remained that way regardless of what I was wearing. When you're surrounded by 150 people who are all at a place for one sole purpose, you tend to blend and become white noise regardless of what you're wearing. There was one fellow who showed up wearing jeans, cowboy boots and one of those tacky tuxedo print t shirts. He was asked to leave. So it seems to me that as long as you're not doing anything inappropriate or offensive, no one gets concerned.

Look at my friend Barbara here;



See how happy and pretty she is on her wedding day? How in the hell is the bald fat boy in the kilt going to "upstage" her?

Cutting right to the heart of the matter...