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2nd September 09, 05:42 PM
#1
Jokes that made my wife laugh
My wife, God bless her, has no sense of humour. So when she laughs at any of my jokes, it's pretty amazing. Here's a random assortment of jokes that I could get my wife to laugh at...
Q - What's brown and sticky?
A - A stick!
Did you hear about the red boat and blue boat that collided? Both crews were marooned.
A seal walks into a club...
Q - What do you call a man that was hit with a shovel in his face?
A - You call him an ambulance - he might have fractured his skull. Jeez!
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4th September 09, 01:15 PM
#2
Why don't dinosaurs talk?
Because they're dead!
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4th September 09, 04:37 PM
#3
 Originally Posted by CDNSushi
My wife, God bless her, has no sense of humour. So when she laughs at any of my jokes, it's pretty amazing. Here's a random assortment of jokes that I could get my wife to laugh at...
Q - What's brown and sticky?
A - A stick!
 That made my day!
"Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
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4th September 09, 08:45 PM
#4
Originally Posted by CDNSushi
Q - What do you call a man that was hit with a shovel in his face?
A - You call him an ambulance - he might have fractured his skull. Jeez!
I love jokes with an obvious punchline.
Which brings to mind this one told by Tiger Woods:
What do you call a black man flying an airplane?
A PILOT, ya' freaking racist!
Or this one:
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
Wave at him.
Or:
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
Or one of my son's favorites when he was 6:
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
Jimbo
"No howling in the building!"
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4th September 09, 09:31 PM
#5
Originally Posted by jgcunningham
I love jokes with an obvious punchline.
Which brings to mind this one told by Tiger Woods:
Or:
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
You forgot the rest of that one!!
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was also dead!
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
.
.
.
.
.
Wait for it...
.
.
.
.
.
Wait for it...
.
.
.
.
.Peer pressure!!  Awefull, I know...
"Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
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5th September 09, 05:23 PM
#6
What's the technical name for a defective boomerang?
A stick.
,
"No man is genuinely happy, married, who has to drink worse whiskey than he used to drink when he was single." ---- H. L. Mencken
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8th September 09, 05:49 PM
#7
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
Half a centipede!
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8th September 09, 07:38 PM
#8
Originally Posted by Ian.MacAllan
What's the technical name for a defective boomerang?
A stick.
,
My wife says its a boomawrong.
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8th September 09, 07:43 PM
#9
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To put out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out flaming ducks.
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4th September 09, 08:46 PM
#10
Oh yeah. Forgot one.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
DUNG!!!!
Jimbo
"No howling in the building!"
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