Snappy comebacks

[Makeitstop]

Then I'll get a rubber chicken tell them that you have 'something fowl' under there, then show 'em.

I've considered converting a rubber chicken into the coolest underwear ever, but I've yet to find a rubber chicken large enough.


Edit: Another fun prop gag, carry a piece of paper in the cargo pocket, and when you want impress/surprise/freak out someone, slip the piece paper into the condom pocket in the same suggestive manner. Then take your hand out and move around in odd dramatic way while making faces. Then after a moment or two, reach in and pull out some sort of origami creation (preferably a crane) and hand it to them.